What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
