Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
