the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
