KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
