Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
