i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
