i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
