worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
