i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
