yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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