i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
