Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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