I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
