My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
