you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
