Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
