Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize
