He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
