i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
