Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
