I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize