Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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