Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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