I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
