i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
