You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
