real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
True strength comes from lack of pants
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
