But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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