we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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