You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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