May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize