Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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