My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
