i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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