that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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