brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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