So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
