I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
