Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
