Just fell off a train. Bad.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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