Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
