you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize