Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have fence marks all over my body
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
