I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
