ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
