so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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