doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
