We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
