I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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