just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
