WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
