i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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