Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
