In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
