the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
