My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
