worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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