I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Randomize
