Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
