Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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