apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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