Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
