We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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