Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
