ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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